


FairyTale

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Drama, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-02-02
Updated: 2006-07-07
Packaged: 2018-12-26 18:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12064794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian and Justin are in school together and have been bestfriends for ever and they know each other to well!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

"Brian, come on we are already late this is not funny anymore. They are waiting for us” Justin said with a temper.

"Fucking hold on, it’s not easy to look this good you know!” Brian called from the hallway bathroom.

Five minutes later Brian was coming down the stairs in a seductive kind of way.

”Ok I am ready to go out and play with the big boys!” Brian laughed as he put on his jacket.

"Stop fucking around and get in the car!!! Emmett told us to be at Babylon at 9 and it’s already 9.10.” Justin was not pleased with Brian’s attitude.

"Hey what’s eating your ass today? Didn’t get laid yesterday?”

"Do you care?” Justin was losing it. 

Every night was the same routine. Arguing with Brian about what they did and with whom. He thought Brian didn’t care well truth be said Brian actually didn’t care. Brian is who he is and he will never change. Brian fucks who he wants to fuck and that’s it! It’s not like they are in a relationship. No regrets! Brian’s motto for live. Hell no, no lover for Brian he doesn’t do love. Justin on the other hand was craving for love not necessary from Brian but from someone who loved him as much as Justin wanted to. Justin was saving himself for that man who would love him. He hasn’t told Brian he is a virgin and he never plans to tell him. Let Brian think what he wants to think.

 

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t” Brain snapped Justin out of his thoughts with that statement “Nothing is bothering me” Justin said his temper now in check. Once in Justin’s car they made their way to Babylon in silence. 

 

One Hour Later At Babylon

Justin, Emmett, and Michael were at the bar sipping their beers and gossiping while Brian was off in the backroom giving some trick the fuck of a lifetime. Michael was just about to ask where he was when he made his way over.

“I think I should give a show in our school on how to give good head” he said taking a sip of Justin’s beer. 

“Who the hell would take that class…and get your own drink” Justin said grabbing his beer and finishing it off.

”Justin? This is not normal anymore what is wrong with you?”

”You want to know what’s wrong Brian? You really want to know? Well I am sick of it! I am getting sick of you and you’re tricks! I am beginning to wonder if there is even a heart in there! You play them like a set of puppets. And let them drop like a stone I wonder one of these days you will do the same with your friends and with me which I fear the most ,If I even can call you my best friend” Justin said while he was showing a hint of water in his eyes. He had to scream because of the music but Brian didn’t hear the music only Justin screaming at him.

Brian didn’t know what hit him. Was Justin serious about this? He never talks about this kind of stuff with anyone not even with Justin, No Feelings! Was this how Justin was like in one of his drama queen moments? Brian was looking at Justin with an ice cold look.

Emmett and Michael stood there not knowing what to do.

”Cough! Alrighty then, Michael do we feel like dancing?” Emmett tried with a pull on Michael’s arm.

”Look I don’t see what you’re problem is. You know me, I don’t have to explain myself to you I never had to in these 17 years. So just deal with it and deal with me!”

”Briaaan, you just don’t understand what I want from…from…” Justin tripped over his words that became slowly a whisper.

”From who?”

”From you , asshole!”

Brian, high on booze and other stuff didn’t need this shit!

” I don’t need this shit , just leave me alone for some time.” With those words Brian headed of to the backroom again!

”Whatever, I am going home I am sick of our little game.” Justin said this more to himself then to Brian.

Emmett standing in the corner looking if the coast was clear came up to Justin. ”Didn’t he come with you in your car? How is he going to get home?”

”I don’t care. He knows the way to get to his house it’s just next to mine he has been there before he knows the deal: Walk!!” Justin spat on very sarcastically.

 

Brian’s POV in the backroom.

 

This isn’t good. Did he just tell me that he loves me? No wait I must be high or something. Fuck!!! Every time we talk about sex he shuts down. He never wants to tell me about it. I always tell him about my fucking. Yeah I know it’s my way of showing off to everyone and to him. It’s who I am I like to fuck. He knows me …what does he want from me…love? 

Right there that moment of questioning, Brian figured it out!!

Oh, shit! He is jealous…Even worse he is a virgin. Of course why didn’t I see this coming, he wants me to fuck him. But he is scared I will hurt him. I am not as heartless as everybody says I am capable to like someone. Fuck, this is to much for me to handle. Whatever ok this trick better know how to give head.

 

In Emmett’s car.

 

”Thanks for giving me a ride Em! I really don’t want to walk home.” Brian said looking at out the window.

”No biggie stud, you know what friends are for right?” This said with a tone not like a statement but more like a question.

”Yeah I know.”

They drove for 5 minutes in silence which Emmett couldn’t handle so he decided to break the ice.

”Penny for you’re thoughts!?”

”Huh? Oh well don’t tell anyone but for the first time in our lives I can’t figure Justin out he is acting like a child. Do you know what’s going on? I mean you two are just like schoolgirls when you are alone you talk to him about stuff, right?” Brian was the one now who wanted to know everything.

”Well as Justin said, you really want to know?” One eyebrow of Emmett practically hit the ceiling.

”For God sake, yeah fucking get it out already!” Brian was not calm anymore he was getting angry and he needed some answers now!!!

”Ok, ok hold your horses’ honey! Well… it obvious what’s bothering him, he is in love with you.”

”Fuck no, I thought it would be something like that” Brian said.

”Well yeah start thinking what you will do to that boy and don’t you break his heart! He wants you and no one else...not that he has told anyone but me but how can you not see it? He gets jealous of your tricks, doesn't talk to or go after any other guys. I am telling you Brian he is head over heals for you!” Emmett was hoping Justin would not be angry at him for telling Brian but one way or another he had the right to know.

”Don’t you think this is crazy I mean we are best friends we are like family for God’s sake.”

”Open your eyes wider Brian, I know you had a feeling about this but as always you blockit out! Have you never noticed that Justin doesn’t do tricks that he isn’t dating let alonet even a boyfriend in his life he is waiting for you Brian. And hello? Have you ever seen how he looks at you? It’s not in a friend kind of way anymore.” Emmett said too much. 

Brian was deep in thoughts when they arrived at his house. He saw the lights in Justin’s room we don’t know if it was the booze or the feelings but instead of going to his own door he decided to climb up the ladder to Justin room.

When Brian climbs up the ladder he knows what he wants tonight and he knows Justin is willing to give it to him. When he silently walks in the room he sees Justin sleeping with his sketchbook in his hands. He softly picks it up and stares in his own cold eyes that he gave Justin tonight when they were fighting. He turns of the light and slowly walks over to Justin bed when he sees Justin sleeping his heart goes faster he is looking at an angel. He climbs in the bed and places a soft kiss on his forehead. When Justin wakes up he stares in hazel green eyes filled with lust and passion. Justin knows what is going to happen next he wanted to give everything to Brian and right now his heart was the thing he wanted to share.

When Brian puts a passionate kiss on Justin’s cherry lips, Justin is breathless. Brian starts to undress Justin from his clothes. Justin is scared shitless and with his heartbeat going faster he felt like he was on cloud nine. Yes, he is more than willing to give himself to Brian.  
Swollen lips from all this kissing, Justin looks up in Brian’s eyes taking some time to breathe.

He whispers with a blush “ Bri ,I never done this before.” 

”Don’t worry Sunshine, I will be careful I don’t want to hurt you ,never.” 

With those convincing words Brian took his time to take Justin to heaven, to make love with him with care.


	2. FairyTale

I’m lying here next to my best friend wondering what the fuck I did. What I did with Justin was wrong…so wrong. We fucked .The complicated thing is it was fucking awesome he is a very quick learner and looked so beautiful. I’m lying next to an angel. I tainted him…he was so pure an innocent. His skin was so soft he looked so hot and his eyes…ok fuck this shit, I have to go home before he wakes up.

 

Brian looks over at the clock on the nightstand by Justin and sees its 6:45. He gets up, gathers his clothes and keys, and heads home, all the while thinking of what a mistake he made sleeping with his best friend. Brian makes himself blame the sex on the booze he had last night, but he forgot he made a promise to Justin. A promise that Justin will not forget, not ever.

When Brian opens the door to his own room, he takes of his shirt and lies down on his bed thinking about the night before and what he did with Justin. He picks up a cigarette and lights it. He tries to remember something of the talk they had in Babylon and the talk he had with Emmett. When flashes come to mind he starts freaking.

____

Shit how could I do that...sleep with Justin? I'm such a shit. I mean, he thinks he is in love with me. What the hell have I done? I've made things so much worse, I have given him hope, to love me more then he already does. As hard it is to admit, our friendship is ruined. This is not what I want from him or from anybody for that matter. I have to set things straight even if I have to hurt him. No I can’t hurt that boy. I am not capable of love. But I can’t hurt the boy who loves me.

 

**Justin’s POV**

 

When I start to wake up, I feel that the warmth from yesterday is gone. I am afraid to open my eyes because if I do, I know Brian will be gone. When I move my hands to the other side of my bed my thoughts are confirmed. I feel nothing…not Brian, not my best friend, nor the person I love. Cool sheets are running under my hands. I know what we did last night was wrong but it felt so good. He made me feel good, I was alive. I was living my moment with Brian.

Who ever thought I would have sex with Brian? When we were 14, I made a promise to myself I would never fall in love with him. Yeah of course I loved him then but not like this, not like last night. Now 3 years later, I broke my rule. The only thing I hope for is that he doesn’t treat me like one of his tricks, which I am afraid of, but one of his friends that I always have been. 

The feeling of getting sick is coming, the only thing I want to do is stay in bed with the pleasant thoughts of last night, afraid to face the consequences, because I know if I go out the door he will be watching me, seeing my every move. Just to bring me down on his words. When I look at the clock I see it’s already 9:15. I close my eyes and try to relax. I hear a loud knock on my door and it startles me.

“Justin!” I hear my mom call from outside the door.

“We are going to be late, we have to be at the club at eleven.” Shit I forgot we are meeting Brian’s family at the country club for some stupid lame ass golf game. 

”Ok, I’ll just take a quick shower. I will be down in a bit!” One second later just as I finish my last word my mother storms in yelling.

”Don’t take that tone with me young man. You just make sure you are ready by 10:30. Do I make myself clear?”

”Yes mother dearest.” I shot back with sarcasm evident in my voice.

____

Before Jennifer turns out to leave she glares at Justin but she can’t help but finish it off with a little smile. Justin stumbles his way out of bed, getting undressed as he heads to his personal shower, trying to keep good thoughts and hoping the day will go as he would like it with no fuss about anything that happened. 

Just next door, Brian is getting dressed and he is putting on his best face of indifference.

When Justin is the last one to walk out his house he looks over at the side to spot something of Brian’s presence. When he sees the car is already gone and no one is home anymore, he let’s out a sigh of relief. Well…here goes nothing.

 

**Two hours later at the club**

 

Brian is sitting outside under a big white parasol while his parents are laughing and gossiping with other members with money. He is laid back in his chair…anyone who would pass by would think that this boy has no worries. But if you looked in Brian’s eyes you could see the sparkle is gone, like he lost something. 

Justin is standing in the club dining area looking through the window where he spots Brian. He lets his eyes wander all over this boy’s body. In all these 18 years they have known each other, he had never thought about how truly beautiful Brian was. Sure, he though he was hot but now it was deeper than that. His eyes are like windows into his soul, his arms are strong and lean and he felt so safe in those arms last night. He wished deep in his heart he could go back to that moment.

As he is standing there he never noticed that his mother is standing next to him watching how Justin is in deep thought as he looks at Brian. When Jennifer asks him a question he loses his thoughts.

”Honey, is there something wrong between you and Brian?” 

”No, why would you think that?” Justin says as casual as he could manage.

”Oh, no big reason. It’s just I heard some noises coming out of your room last night and I could swear I heard Brian’s voice, but I guess I could be wrong. He normally waits for you when we go to the club and I noticed he wasn’t waiting for you today. Are you sure there is nothing you want to tell me Justin?” 

_’Shit i forgot my parents last night. They were home. Stupid, stupid, stupid!’_ Justin thinks. He feels caught up.

”No mom I guess you heard wrong. There is nothing wrong between me and Brian, and if there was anything we will fix it ourselves.” Justin takes Jennifer’s hand to show that he is serious and grown enough to know what he is doing.

”Ok, don’t forget I am always here if you want to tell something…and that includes anything!” Jennifer says with a smirk.

Justin nods and feels very uncomfortable. Something was telling him that his mother knows he is gay, and even worse, she heard him and Brian having sex.

”I am going to see where you’re father is. We’ll be in the tea-room honey, if you need us just come there ok?”

”Ok mom, see you later.” 

Jennifer turns around and heads to the tea-room. Justin watches his mother leave and looks at Brian again. 

_’Ok Taylor enough with the thinking, lets act!’_ He thinks to himself.

With that thought he leaves the dining room and goes outside over to Brian. He sits down in the chair next to Brian and looks him in the eye, ready to tell the biggest lie he ever had.

Brian just looks at Justin and they fall in complete silence. Justin decides it was a sign. He needs to tell what he prepared, just an act, no real feeling, just lies.

”Brian can we talk about last night?” 

”If you want to go ahead, I am listening.” Brian is concerned. He doesn’t know what Justin would say to him. He’s afraid that Justin is really in love with him and that he has to break Justin’s heart by telling him that Brian doesn’t feel the same way.

”Look Brian, forget what Emmett said to you because I know he was the one who told you I love you. Of course I love you Brian but not in that way. I just wanted sex. No strings attached. You of all people should know how that works. I just wanted it to be you because I can trust you. I know you won’t fall in love with me…“ Justin heart is aching as he tells those lies. He just wants to jump on Brian and tell him how much he loves him.

Brian doesn’t know what hit him. “ Justin, I…”

”No Brian, listen to me! It was just a moment that we didn’t think over. Well I thought it over, you didn’t and Brian I know you and I knew this would turn out all awkward and all and I just have to deal with it. I don’t want more from you then friendship because I know you can’t give more to me than that and that’s fine by me. I’m not gonna queen out on you and expect a wedding ring.”

Brain looks Justin in the eyes and sits stunned at what he had just said. Brian feels like his heart is being ripped out of his chest. 

”Justin I … euhm, I understand. We are just friends and when we had sex last night it was something I wanted to do for you…to make you feel special. You are right, no strings attached! Still best friends?” 

Justin smiles. He’s glad Brian bought the whole act. And still, he is so sad that Brian didn’t tell him that he was wrong, that it was love, that their friendship turned out something powerful. 

”Yeah, best friends!” Justin says as he looks at Brian and pokes him in the side.


	3. FairyTale

Monday morning.

 

“You _do_ know it’s Monday morning right? Monday…as in new school day.” Justin was becoming pissed at Michaels grin.

”Yeah I know.”

”Then why the fuck are you smiling like an idiot? I think if I have to look at your teeth one more time I am going to hurl…and I mean it.” Justin was just teasing his friend.

”Ooh, I think someone has a boyfriend. And I think I know who,” Emmett squealed. 

”Emmett shut up! Let Michael tell it himself.” Justin winked at Emmett and Emmett fought to hold back a laugh.

 

The boys stood at they’re usual spots in school; right at the gates. They sat at the little bank there waiting for they’re fourth member. As you can guess, the school wasn’t a great place for them. It was a private school. And just by looking at the other kids you could tell that it was one. For the boys, the school only had one kind of people…the Preps. Truth be told, Justin thought that he and his friends were the only ones there who didn’t pay attention to mommy and daddy’s financial status. And he liked it that way. He wouldn’t change it for anything. 

 

”Well, I’d like to explain to Justin why I am smiling like idiot. Remember when you and Brian had your little fight Saturday night and you left with your problems carrying with you?”

_’Yeah, how could I forget,’_ Justin thought, but he only nodded in response.

”Oh right, how did that turn out?”

”EMMETT!!!!!”

”Sorry sweetie, go ahead.” Emmett waved his hands with the words.

Justin had to laugh at the communication between two of his friends, but the smile faded when the thought of telling them what happened that night came.

”What I am trying to say is that…” Before Michael continued he glared at Emmett. He just threw his hand up in defence. 

” I met someone!” 

”Aw…that’s great Michael. I am happy for you.” And Justin really was happy. He only wished that he could find someone too and not having to wait until Brian realises that he is the one.

He pulled Michael into a hug.

Letting go he asked, “ Now tell me, who is it?”

 

”Oh, you know that new kid Ben on the football team? Well, I kinda had to show him around and take him to his classes. You guys he’s really hot. I could barley form a complete thought and I started stammering like a goofball, but he didn’t even laugh…he said he thought it was cute. Then I saw him again in Babylon. He asked me for my number and we talked on the phone everyday this weekend,” Michael ended with a dreamy sigh. “So, I had to drive Brian home Saturday. Care to share what happened after that?”

Letting out a deep sigh, Justin was thinking how to phrase the words to tell his friends what really happened. He didn’t want to lie. He knew he wanted to talk about it with someone…not his mother and not Brian. If he talked to them there were only lies. When he was talking with his friends he could really say what he felt knowing it would be safe to tell them.

”To make a long story short, we fucked.” Justin heard himself say the words so casual while his heart was beating so hard to see the shocked faces of his friends.

”What did you do?” Emmett yelled all over the school.

”Grrr, Am I speaking Chinese over here? Didn’t you guys hear me?”

”I think we heard you loud and clear!” Michael spoke for both him and Emmett.

“I really don’t know how it happened. It was like he could read my mind that night. That I wanted him to come to me.” Justin was thinking through his words.

”I know I had a drama queen moment that night but I have them all the time. That’s what Brian always says to me. I was drawing a bit; I was in my room already in bed. I must have fallen asleep because next thing I know Brian is there kissing me and telling very sweet non- Brian words. I don’t think I have to draw a picture about what happened next.” 

”Why? I mean, how is it that Brian got that idea to fuck you all of a sudden?” Justin could swear he heard a hint of jealousy in Michael’s question.

The silence broke after Emmett spoke.

”Oops,” Was all what was coming out of his mouth.

”Emmett what oops? What did you say to him? What happened Saturday between you guys?” Justin eyes were filled with questions and Emmett had the answer.

”Well Jus, I kinda said to him that you love him.”

”I thought you did…you and your big mouth. But that can’t be the only reason why he chose to fuck me that night. And I know it wasn’t out of love. H doesn’t love me back in that way. Kinney doesn’t do love, not since his sister…” Justin was interrupted. 

”Ohm there’s more.” Emmett words were barely a whisper.

”Go on, I am listening.”

”He was pushing me into telling him what we always talk about on our girly nights. He thought you were mad at him for always tricking and not paying attention to you when we all go out. I told him that was a part of it, but not quite it. And I think I should have stopped there but instead i told him a little bit more. More then I should a have.” Right there Emmett shuts up to see Justin reaction. Justin face was white as a ghost.

”Oh no…you didn’t?!?”

”Yes I did sorry, I told him everything about you loving him and that you were waiting for him…not only as a friend but as a boyfriend and lover. And I told him that you were a virgin and that you were holding back for him.”

”No, no, no, no, Emmett why? Didn’t I tell you that should never be said out loud again?” Justin was really mad at his friend he felt betrayal under his skin all over.

”I know, but you should have seen the look on Brian’s face…he was really looking sad. I never thought he would actually take my word and fuck you out of your virginity pants. Justin I am so sorry for telling him.” Emmett was practically pleading now. 

Michael has kept silent all the way and took his information out of the conversation.

”Brian looked sad? Did he stare into space for awhile and then looked at his shoes?” Michael asked as he was trying to find something.

”Yeah he did, first a strict face and then he just kept starring at his shoes and hands. Why?” 

”Because that is the face that Brian Kinney has when he feels pity for someone,” Justin finished for Michael.

Justin felt like he was slapped in the face. And it really hurt. He couldn’t believe Brian had maken love to him out of pity. Making love…that was what it felt like at the time. Now he knew those feelings were just lies. 

”Justin, are you ok?” Emmett’s voice was really filled with concern. As soon as he saw the blonde’s eyes go down with watery streaks he knew Justin wasn’t fine.

”I had a talk with him yesterday at the club. I told him that I didn’t love him…that it was a one time thing. I was hoping to get back to normal and not ruin our friendship. They were all lies Emmett. I love him so much. And I was kicking myself for not flying into his arms and kissing him. But now I know why he did it…I am glad I told him those lies although I was feeling the opposite. What I told him yesterday was the best for us both. Brian Kinney could never love me.” 

”Oh honey, I am so sorry.” Emmett said while wiping the tears away from the boy’s eyes.

”Speaking of the devil, shouldn’t Brian already be here? It’s almost time to get to class.” After the question that Michael said the bell rang in his annoying shrill.

Before Justin followed the others inside, he stopped and looked back. As much as he was mad at Brian now, he still cared for his best friend. As he looked at the gates to see if Brian was coming in, there was no sign of the boy.


	4. FairyTale

A/N: i want to thank Amanda for doing such a great job! Thank you girl *mwa*

* * *

**3 months later**

So long…3 fucking months has past since that day. I talk to Brian sometimes…when I see him in one of our classes or just in the hallway, but our friendship is dead; that's a fact. It’s never going to be like our past… talking, laughing, just being friends. When we see each other it’s just about the weather and _'How are you doing?' 'Fine, you?' 'Fine' 'Good'_. Sometimes I just can’t stop thinking about how much we've grown away from each other, I wish I could take everything back and make it to normal again. Being best friends like I promised. Our promise is so full of bullshit. 

 

**At lunchtime, Brian’s POV**

When I walk into the cafeteria I see the group sitting at the usual lunch table. Justin, Emmett, Michael, Daphne, and….oh, look at that, Ted has taken my spot. Let me explain. A week later, the fatal day happened, I was accepted by the coach to play in the new season. Of course I said yes. Football is my sport, but it also meant the jocks and cheerleaders asked me to join their table. First, I was not sure but when I saw the anger in Justin’s eyes when I talked to Chris, one of the _'leaders'_ , I was fucking pleased with myself and told my new group of friends yes. I don’t know what it is with me lately, but when I see Justin jealous or angry with me I am happy. I put my wall up and I don’t care anymore, I never will again. 

I walk to my table, the new one, and in an instant the jocks look up and call my name as they see me. One of the players, Randy, is winking at me. “Ten minutes,” he mouths. He stands up and passes by me, and when he does he brushes his shoulder to mine. I nod towards him. In the corner of my eye I see Justin glaring at me. Mission completed. He saw it… again. 

When I walk into the boys bathroom, Randy is already there waiting for me. The guy is hot…really hot. Blonde hair, blue eyes, strong body built from all the training. He reminds me of someone but I don’t wanna think about right now now. I just wanna fuck that guy right here right now. 

”You made it.” He tells me. 

”Yeah, what did you think? I was going to pass up a good fuck in school? Not a chance.” 

Randy looks past me and walks to the door. As he tries to lock it, I stop him. 

”Leave it open, you don’t know what a kick it is when you know you can get caught,” I tell him. He raises his eyebrow. 

”Relax, they are all in the lunchroom, no one is going to be around now. Besides, they should be smart not to enter when they hear you screaming my name over and over.” I smirk. He laughs shyly.   
I grab him by his shirt and push him into one of the bathroom stalls. I am just happy that St. James is a wealthy school so they have big bathroom stalls with lots of space in it. I turn him around and yank off his pants. I do the same to mine. As I am about to pull a condom out of my jacket the bathroom door slams open and I hear someone run into a stall near us. It seems like he is crying and puking at the same time. I tell Randy to shut up as I try to see who it is. I pull up my pants and look over the stall, very quietly, as I see Emmett coming in. 

 

**Justin’s POV**

Asshole! I can’t believe him. And in school! That’s like the sixth time this has happened in the last three months. Oh my God, I shouldn’t get so upset. My stomach is turning like crazy. 

”Honey are you ok?” 

”Yeah Em, I think I am fine. My stomach just hurts a bit and I feel so sick. Maybe we should go the drugstore after school like you said. I want to know for sure,” I say with what probably looks like embarrassment. 

”Ok sweetie that’s fine.” He pats my arm. His eyes widen as he sees the look on my face. 

”I think I need to pu…” That's as far as I get. I run, and I mean I _really_ run out of the cafeteria to find the bathroom. I see Emmett running after me. 

I stumble into the bathroom. I hear nothing. I am so glad no one is here. I open the door of one of the stalls…I just need to let it out, I can’t hold it anymore. I start to cry and throw up at the same time. This is too much…it can’t be. I hear Emmett coming in. He is standing behind me. 

”Justin, I am so sorry,” he says. 

” No!” I yell between sobs. ”It’s my fault. I should have used a fucking condom anyway. Emmett what am I going to do? I don’t want this. It’s not the right time. I can’t make it on my own. Oh god…” I start to cry again. He lifts me up from the ground and takes me into his arms. 

”Baby it could just be that you are sick…the flu or something. We don’t have to think that way. You know what…why don’t we get out of here and find a comfy place to talk it all over?” 

I wipe my tears away and nod at him. I just can’t find the words to tell him that if I'm pregnant, and I think I am, I don’t want Brian to know, I just don’t want anyone to know. Well, besides Michael, there is no one who knows already and I want to keep it that way. I am not even sure if I am going to keep the baby, I mean I am 18 and I want my life to go like I wanted it to go for so long. I want to go to Ibiza some day…I want to be free…I want to live, not be bound by a child. Fuck, this is really the biggest mistake that Brian and I have ever made. 

We stand up. I look in the mirror and I clean myself a bit up. I turn to face Emmett and ask him if we can go now. 

”Yeah sweetie, come on.” He hugs me and kisses my temple and we walk out of the door hoping to find out the truth. 

 

**Brian’s POV**

I’m standing two stalls down listening to what sounds like Justin crying. I couldn’t hear clearly, but I think I heard something about a condom…and why was he talking to Em about it? 

I let go of my hold on Randy. We were about to fuck but now I’m too angry I can’t even hear him speak to me…he does sound pissed though. He just keeps going on and on but I don’t hear a word. I wonder what’s wrong with Justin. Condom…sick…Emmett? Huh… No. Did he fuck Emmett? If Emmett gave Justin some STD I am going to kill him! Fuck, if he fucked Justin I am going to kill him either way!


	5. FairyTale

A/N I'm sorry for the late update. Our lives has been busy and it didn't gave me much time to write. Still here is the next one. And thanks to Lyndsey for being our beta. xxx Seve

* * *

“Honey, could you come down for a sec? We need to talk!” When Justin heard the last words of his mother he knew it was going to be trouble.

”Yeah mom, what’s up?” Justin sat down at the kitchen table and waited till Jennifer would join him. He crossed his arms and was expecting the worst.

”Well, you know your father is a very busy man and in the years you've grown up he has never had the chance to really get to know you. But he feels like it’s to late now cause you are almost eighteen and that means a you are going to be a grown man.” Jennifer gave Justin a little smile.

”So… Justin, your father and I are going to Europe this summer cause your father has some business to do there. Because you are an only child and because you are almost eighteen we want to give you a choice. You go with us or you decide to stay here for 2 months. That means you will have the full responsibility of our house.” Jennifer waited for Justin’s answer.

”Ohm, what can I say? If it’s ok by you and dad, I'd rather stay here. I need to sort out some things and on my own and this will be the best way to do it.” Justin was glad that he was given a choice. Also, his morning sickness was getting worse. He hated to lie to his mother every day by saying that he just ate something bad when he had his spells. He knew in time his mother will not fall for that anymore. She was smarter than that. 

”It’s fine by us. That's why we asked. We are leaving tomorrow. Don’t let us down Justin, we trust you. This is your chance to prove to us that you are capable of taking care of yourself. You are not my little boy anymore…you are a man now.” Jennifer said with tears in her eyes. The more she spoke the more she had a problem controlling herself. It was a hard choice, but in some way she needed to let Justin go. She reached out to touch Justin’s cheek. When her hand found it, Justin smiled. He never thought his mother would ever let him go. He was given a chance and he wouldn’t let them down. When his parents would come back he would tell them that he was pregnant. Now it was just too early. He needed to find his way first. And he was given two months do to it.

”Mom, even if I’m thirty, forty five or sixty I always be your little baby.” Justin winked at his mother and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

”Justin you know I love you right?”

”Yes mom and I will never forget. I promise.”

”Good. So, what are your plans for today? Are you going to Daphne's again?”

”No, I am going to Emmett's instead. Michael is going to drop by also.” Justin got out of his chair and went to the fridge. He was kind of thirsty and so hungry her could eat a horse. Well, he was hungry like a pregnant male. He made a sandwich while he was up.

”Oh, I see. You know…there was a time when you would go to Brian's everyday. Somehow a couple months ago that changed. I don’t know…” 

”No mom, please don’t, there is no Brian and Justin anymore. Too much happened…and before you say anything else I don’t want to talk about it…now. I will when I have figured out things myself. I need to think of me first."

”I understand, I just wish I knew something. Something big must have happened for you two to be fighting. Don’t tell me it’s because of a girl? Anyway, when I get back I need some answers, Justin.” Jennifer had a strict face on but only because she meant what she said. She had her suspicions about her son and Brian. For now she was trying to deny it.

”No, it’s nothing like that. You know I love you and I could talk to you about everything, but like you said before I need to grow up and now is the best time to do so. Brian and I are just having some puberty problems that we both need to grow out of…but instead, I am the only one doing the growing up.” Justin sat back at the table with his sandwich. He started eating and nothing was said anymore. Jennifer nodded and went back to making her meals.

\----

Next day in school

 

”Brian would you just slow down and talk to me for five minutes?“

”What is it Michael, I am busy, I need to get to practice.”

”Fuck you, you are always busy! I need to talk to you about Justin.” Brian eyes widened. He stared at Michael as a sign to speak.

"As everyone knows, you and Justin are having a problem right now. Only a few of us know why. Not because you told us. We know. We all know that you turned your back on Justin because you were afraid of something. That infamous four letter word.” 

Brian rolled his eyes. “Is this going somewhere? Cause I don’t need this bullshit. I don’t have to explain myself to anyone…especially you.” Brian was angry. He hated when someone told him how he was, like they would know him. 

”Cut the crap Kinney, Justin needs you right now. I am not telling you why because that is his job. Just don’t turn your back on him anymore. Or you will never forgive yourself.” Michael really didn’t want to tell Brian why. He didn’t want to betray Justin like that. He just wanted to help his friends. 

”Listen Mikey, what is going on these days? Justin and I are fighting…yes! But it’s not like we didn’t fight before. Let it go… that is what I am doing. Besides, he should find his comfort in Emmett, if he already hasn’t. He can fuck Emmett as much as he wants…I don’t care.” Brain turned around again and went his way. Michael was confused and just fed up with Brian’s attitude.

\--------

 

At Justin’s house

”Can you believe tomorrow is the last day of school? I am going to have so much fun,” Emmett said while he was throwing himself on Justin’s bed.

”Two months is nearly not a long time to have fun like you want it to, Em. I know you, this vacation will go so fast that you will feel like you have done nothing.” Justin laughed a little and stopped when a pillow was thrown in his face.

”Justin, I talked to…well I _tried_ to talk to Brian today,” Michael said frowning. 

”Oh…What did he say? You didn’t tell him about my situation did you?” Justin planted himself on the bed and picked the pillow up.

”No, no of course not. He just said all the usual bullshit, you know. But there was one thing that he said that is not right.” Michael seated next to Justin.

”What is it?”

”He told me you should find your comfort in Em if you already haven’t. I thought that was strange. Then he said you were fucking Emmett.” Michael looked at Justin. Justin head lifted and his eyes went straight towards Emmett. Their eyes locked for a second before they burst out laughing.


	6. FairyTale

“So let me get this right…” Justin stood up from his bed. He looked at Michael with a serious face although he felt the need to laugh his ass of once more at the words Brian had used.

”He thinks…no, he knows for sure, cause he said it out loud, that I am fucking Emmett?” He had to bite his lip. He could almost taste blood.

”Yeah basically," Michael nodded. “But from your reactions I can tell it’s not true.’

”Oh really, you think?” 

Justin turned to Emmett who still was silently laughing.

”Don’t laugh at this situation. You are a part of this now.” Justin turned and sat back on his bed. 

”I know sweetie, but come on, Brian isn’t thinking straight. He is making all these excuses. And we really have no idea why he is doing this. He is cutting you off with lame accusations.”

”I know that Em. I can feel it, I’m not an idiot.” Justin was hurt. Not by Emmett’s words because they were the truth. It was Brian's actions that caused the hurt. He knew that Brian cared for him. If he was in love him…well, that was another topic. He had time to think. Brian pushed him away, afraid of his own feelings. 

”You know what guys? I don't think we will ever understand the great mystery that is Brian Kinney. I can’t be thinking of him right now. I am having a baby. Now I know its Brian’s but he doesn’t have to know that. I am carrying him, I will be the one that has to deal with it. So shhh, ok?”

Both men nodded in unison. 

\----------

Brian wanted to talk to Justin, no, he _needed to_ talk to him. He felt like such a hypocrite and a fool. He knew what he had done to Justin. He had hurt him. He pushed him away because he was afraid Justin would cause him pain. Emotional pain is the worst kind of pain in the world. He knew that much. Another feeling was peeking through, it was a bad one. It felt that way. A feeling you shouldn’t have. He was selfish…He hurt Justin to make himself feel safe. He remembered the promise they made. Best friends forever. He knew he was fooling himself, hell he was fooling Justin at the same time. He hoped he would see Justin at the dinner. He really needed to talk to him. When Michael talked to him about Justin, Brian was worried. He heard it was serious and Justin needed him but how come Justin didn’t come to him then? He went to Emmett. He still couldn’t believe it. Maybe he was just misunderstanding things. They barely talked to each other these days, so he wouldn’t know what really was going on. Brian thought talking wouldn’t hurt too much. He decided to give it a shot.

\----------

Justin was in deep conversation with Emmett when Brian walked in. He didn’t even hear the bell above the door. 

”So you know I could…” Justin stopped when he saw Emmett’s face change.

”What is it?” Justin asked when he turned around. Right then he saw Brian talking to Deb. It’s been awhile Justin had seen Brian. And he thought Brian looked fucking gorgeous. He had faded jeans on with a black shirt that was tight around his body. Justin began to panic. What would Brian think if he saw his body? His flat belly was a little bit bigger now. He was not fat but he wasn’t so slim anymore. Emmett said he looked like he was glowing that always made him giggle. Justin turned around again so he was facing Emmett once again.

”Shit what do I do now?” Justin asked Emmett with a pleading look. 

”Just act normal sweetie, it will be fine just. Don’t panic.” Don’t panic? Yeah right.

”Jus, he is coming our way.” Emmett whispered.

”No no no no no,” Justin thought. 

”Hey, guys. “ Brian said carefully. 

”Hi Brian, what have you been up to?” Emmett asked.

”Nothing much. Justin, can I talk to you in private?” Brian asked.

Justin looked up from his drink and glared towards Emmett. He just nodded as a support to his friend.

”Yeah I guess, let’s just go over there,” Justin said pointing to the empty booth in the corner.

When Justin stood up Brian noticed that he was a little bit…bigger. “Can’t stay away from the lemon bars?” Brian asked jokingly. 

“Are you implying that I am fat?“ Justin cursed himself and his hormones for that question.

”No.” Brian said taken aback. “I just noticed…” Brian didn’t finish his sentence. 

Justin laughed at Brian sudden change of character. “No, it’s ok. So you wanted to talk.” Justin still felt something good about this. He was angry but even though they weren’t close like they use to be, Justin still felt at ease with Brian. They slipped in the booth on opposite sides of each other. Brian glared over Justin's shoulder at Emmett.

”Justin, are you and Emmett together?” Justin laughed again. That was Brian, always straight to the point.

”No Brian, we are not.” Brian was relieved. He really didn’t like the idea of Justin with Emmett. He just didn’t like the idea of Justin with anyone.

”Jus, a month ago I heard you in school. You were in the toilet at lunch and you were sick and puking.” Justin froze. This was the last thing he expected. 

”I kinda overheard some stuff. Justin, is everything alright?” Justin could tell Brian was really concerned. He so badly wanted to tell him he was pregnant. In his mind Brian would tell him he loved him and they would live long and happily ever after. That was of the case.

”Yes, I am fine. I just had a drama moment back then. Everything is fine.” _Or will be_. He hated to lie to Brian, but he kept telling himself it was for the best. It was the best for his baby.

”Ok, I just wanted to make sure you were fine.”

” I am Brian. I have been fine for 4 months. Although you couldn’t know that cause you forgot I existed. Brian, we made a promise to each other and then you put your walls up. Is it so easy to forget about me? Is it so easy to push me away? I know I played my part in this too. But you were the one who made this to the point it is now. Don’t expect for me to be there for you when you haven’t even seen me in 4 months. You didn’t want to see me. So don’t come back now to put everything in chaos again. My life is good now. I don’t need more drama in it. That will cause me more hurt.” Justin stood up with unshed tears in his eyes. Yet he was so glad he had a chance to say what he felt about the whole situation. It sucked big time but he had to keep himself away from Brian.

Brian didn’t know what just happened. He felt scared, scared of Justin.

”Justin, that’s…” Brian began.

”The truth! It’s the truth, Brian. Now if you excuse me, my friend is waiting for me.” Justin turned his heals at Brian and sat back with Emmett. Brian stood up also and made his way to the door. Justin didn’t even look up when he passed his booth.

Brian was wrong. Talking could hurt.


	7. FairyTale

__**I want to love you but I better not  
Touch (don’t touch)  
I want to hold you but my senses  
Tell me to stop  
I want to kiss you but I want it too  
Much (too much)  
I want to taste you but your lips  
Are venomous poison**

_Soft warm lips caressing his body…travelling down his belly. Then to feel a hot tongue wrapped around his cock was too much. Pleading with Brian to release him from this ache, Brian only shushed him._

_”The best is yet to come Sunshine, just relax. I want you to feel like you've never felt before. I want this for you, you want this for yourself.” Brian said while kissing Justin softly._

_”Lift your legs up,” Brian commanded._

_Justin was shivering. He didn’t know what to do or what he should be doing. “If I am with Brian everything will turn out just fine,” he thought. He heard a click. His eyes were closed…he could only feel now._

_”Just relax and breath, ok?” Justin couldn’t seem to find his voice so he only nodded. He felt Brian’s fingers caressing his hole before they slipped in. He gasped. Just as quickly, he felt the loss of Brian’s fingers. He felt something pushing against his ass. He opened his eyes and saw Brian looking at him when he spoke._

_”Justin, are you ok? Do you want me to continue?”_

_”Yeah, just go slow…”_

_Then it happened. He never felt it. They never saw it. The condom broke._

Justin woke up with a startle. He had that dream again…reliving every feeling of that moment that brought him to this day. Turning over in his bed he looked at his alarm clock. It was a little past 8, he decided to get out of bed and take a shower. Walking to the shower he felt so alone. Now he knew he made that choice to stay home alone. It wasn’t that, but he felt like he was missing something. Only he couldn’t tell what it was. So living on his own, while being pregnant for 4 months and having no one besides Emmett and Michael was, well…eating him truth be told. These days he didn’t know how he felt anymore. He never went out, never saw his friends…never saw Brian. God! Why did it always turn out in the end with _him_ in the back of his head?

Being whole again was something he could feel, not since that moment. It was strange. He was pregnant, still he felt like he was nothing at all. He never felt the baby, he only felt sick at days when he was at his worst. That had stopped. He wished he could enjoy the pregnancy. Deep down he knew he loved his child even if he didn’t know it, didn’t see it, didn’t feel it but the fact was it was a piece of him and more importantly it was a piece of Brian. Now what person in the world could tell he had a piece of the guy who could steal every heart, but gave it back in shattering actions?

\--------------------

You can call Brian an asshole if you want to. It does not change the fact that he is what he is and as said before he will never change, not for anyone. Not even for Justin?

There are only a few people who know Brian well enough to see what he really is. But Brian doesn’t really know himself. He thought he could just forget about Justin. Cause it caused him too much pain. So he didn’t care anymore. He lived his life and that was it. But he betrayed himself. He loves Justin more then life itself. But you try and get that through his thick head. Cause he sure as hell wouldn’t listen to his own heart.

\--------------------

This is the moment, Justin. Just do it.

Hesitating, he picked up his phone and dialled the number.

”Hey mom, yeah I am fine. Listen there is something I want to tell you.” He paused waiting for an answer because he hated talking like this, like he was hiding something. He was indeed hiding something from his parents.

_”Oh, honey, what is it? Did something happen?”_

”No, well not really. I don’t know if I should be saying this over the phone. Is it possible to come back here for a day or two? I have some things do discuss with you. You don’t have to bring dad.”

_” I sense that this is serious Justin. I hope you didn’t make trouble while we were gone. We have only been here less then a month and already there is something going on. You just wait. I will be there tomorrow.”_

”Uhm…ok mom. Thanks.” I guess he thought.

_”I will call you tomorrow when I get there, Justin. Bye, we love you.”_

”Love you to mom, bye.” He was relieved when he pressed the disconnect button. Comparing to tomorrow this would have been a piece of cake. And he knew it.

\--------------------

”So when exactly was the last time you saw Justin?”

”A couple of days ago when he queened out on me.” 

”And what did you say to him?”

”Not so much, I just needed to tell him something, that’s all.”

”Oh, really?”

”Yes really, Michael what the hell are you doing?”

”Me? I am good, I'm not doing anything. Why? I didn't do anything wrong.”

”Ok, if you say so.” Brian rolled his eyes for effect. “ Now Mikey, if you excuse me, I have stuff to do. It’s summer vacation after all. Now get out of my house and get your ass back home.” Brian said, dragging Michael to his door.

”Ok, ok don’t push me, I’m out already. See you later Brian.”

”Bye Mikey.” Brian shut the door and leaned against it. The night before, he had been thinking. Yes, serious thinking, about Justin. It seems all he did now was think about Justin. What exactly went wrong? He knew that and for the first time in his life with Justin by his side, it hit him like a hard brick against the head. Brian Kinney was in love. He had stuff to do, that was for sure. He needed to get Justin back in his arms.

Going back to his room he figured out a plan. Well, not so much a plan, just a crazy way of acting.


	8. FairyTale

“Whatever it is that you did, Justin, you need to fix it now. Whatever stupid reason you had, I don’t want to know. “

”Mom, will you just listen to me? You haven’t given me a chance yet to say what’s wrong. Why is it, that every time I want to talk to you, you blow me of?”

”Now honey, I didn’t blow you off. But if you expect me to come back here, it must be something big. And I know that most of the time when you want to talk, it’s bad news.”

”Shut up!!!” Justin yelled over his mother’s words. He was furious, he hadn’t even told her anything and she was already blaming him.

”You will not take that tone with me, young man! Now tell me what’s wrong.” Jennifer spoke with a choked voice.

They both took a seat on the couch. Justin was twitching around. He knew what he wanted to say to his mom, he just didn’t know how to say it. So he just blurted it out.

”Mom, I am pregnant.” Justin said quick. He made a face knowing he would get a blow out of Jennifer. But instead Jennifer stayed quiet. When he opened his eyes, Jennifer just sat there. The sad thing of it all was that she didn’t even respond the way Justin thought she would. He saw a single tear running from her eyes.

”Mom, would you please say something?” Justin pleaded.

”Go to your room Justin and pack your bags. You are going to stay at your grandmother’s for a while.” Jennifer said stern.

”A while? How long will that be?” Justin asked scared.

”Until you have this… baby.” She said with a disgusted face.

”Mom no, you said that if I had a problem we would work it out. Don’t send me away, please.”

”Justin, I have absolutely no problem with you being gay, in fact I already knew. But this is just not…It isn’t right Justin. Can’t you understand that? How far along are you?”

”Uhm…4 months.”

”Then there is no other way. You will go to your grandmother’s and have the baby there. You can come back when the baby is a little older. I am driving you tonight.”

”Mom plea…”

”Justin! Go and pack your bags, this conversation is over.”

Justin stood up from his seat and left the room, crying the whole time. Going up the stairs he heard his mother talking to him.

”Justin, it’s Brian’s, isn’t it?” She was sure of her thoughts, she just needed to know. It was confirmed when Justin nodded.

” This is for your own good, honey.” Jennifer said in a softer voice. Justin didn’t respond, he just went on crying silently.

________________________________________________

Justin stepped out of the car after the long ride from home. He still had mixed feelings, he didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye to anyone. It would be like he just disappeared. In his mind it was. He had a feeling he was a freak that needed the be hidden from the world.

”Hey mom, how are you doing?” Jennifer said as she embraced the tender woman. She was a tiny lady with big mass of gray hair. Even if she was in her sixties she looked young. 

”Hey Jenny darling. I’m doing good. How’s my son doing?”

”Craig is fine, busy as always.” Jennifer said with a little laugh.

The lady turned to Justin and shook her head. Here it comes ,Justin thought. 

”Justin my sweet sunshine, when did you become so big? Look at you! You are all grown up.” 

”Hey grandma, yep got a little bigger.” Justin said in an uneasy way. 

”And what did your mother tell me? You’re pregnant…Hmmm. Don’t you worry, Sunshine, I am going to take good care of you. And that’s without all the judgement.” Grandma said with a glare in Jennifer’s direction.

”Thanks grandma.” Justin gave her a hug and a kiss and went in the house. “Bye mother.”

”Don’t worry Jenny, someday he will understand what you did for him. And he is save with me.”

”I know, mom. I have to get going. I need to get back to the house. Oh and please don’t tell Craig. I don’t want him to know yet.”

”I promise I will keep my big mouth shut.” She told with a wink of her eye.

”Tell Justin I said bye.” Jennifer crawled in her car. She waved once more to Grandma and left.

Grandma watched her go. “Don’t worry Jenny, I will take better care of him then the both of you did.” She whispered to no one.

________________________________________________

Brian had it all figured out. He would go over to Justin’s house and tell him how he felt. No more lies and pride had to disappear for a while. He needed him and owned it to both him and Justin to show what he felt. He needed to think about the future. Without Justin in his life, his future would be worthless.

He locked the door behind him and started walking to the house next door. Standing in front of Justin’s house, he got a funny feeling inside. But he didn’t think about it and knocked. After a while the door flew open revealing Jennifer crying.

”Uhm…hey Mrs. Taylor, I didn’t expect you to be home so soon.”

”Hello Brian, well yes, there was an emergency with Justin so I had to fly back.”

”Is he alright?” Brian asked concerned 

”He is fine, Brian.“

”Can I talk to Justin for a sec?”

”I don’t think that is possible, Brian. Justin left.”

”Well when will he be back?”

”Brian honey, Justin is gone.”

”How do you mean gone? He has to come back sometime, doesn’t he?” 

”In a couple of years. Brian, can I ask you to stay away from Justin? Whatever the two of you had with each other, it’s over. Don’t hurt him anymore. He’s in a place where he can be himself. Goodbye Brian.” With that, Jennifer closed the door. And Brian was left with the hurt Justin felt.

 

Brian

Justin left? Why? Why did he leave and where did he go? What did she say? A couple of years. Something’s not right here. He should be going to college in a little while. But there was no changing the fact that Justin was not here anymore. It would be just Brian, no more Justin.

________________________________________________

Justin sat on his new bed and took in the view. If he thought about it, this place wasn’t so bad. It had a lake behind the house and his room looked out over it. There were beautiful flowers everywhere. And next to the lake was a big weeping-willow where he could see himself sitting and drawing. Alone and peaceful, just the way he likes it. He could be himself here. He wouldn’t have to hide his belly anymore. He could be with someone now who cared for him. He could search for someone who could love him, just like he loved Brian. But that was impossible. No one could feel that love for him. He rubbed his belly and said “It’s just you and me, little guy.”

After some time Justin lost track of time. He had been thinking about the future and the past for quite some time now. He got lost in his thoughts when there was a knock on the door.

”Hey sunshine, can I come in.” grandma asked.

Justin nodded and seated himself comfortably so he could face his granny when she talked. 

”Justin, I don’t know much about what’s going on. I just want to tell you that I am here for you. In whatever condition you’re in, what you decide to do… You know that when you’ll have this baby I’ll be happy to help take care of it with you. I can’t wait to see that little toddler running around.” She said with a laugh.

”Thanks grandma. It really means a lot to me.” Justin told her while grabbing her hand and rubbing it.

”Fine, that’s settled. Now get your bags and unpack. We have some decorating to do up in here. And don’t forget the baby’s room.” She winked at him before dragging him out of the house to do some shopping.

”By the way sunshine, that weeping-willow over there is yours.”


	9. Seeing your life

  
Author's notes: A/N: I'm so so so sorry for all my late updates and not writing as much as the others do. But my life does not allow me to write so much. I do hope you will enjoy this chapter. Thanks!  


* * *

**Justin’s POV**

I never thought I would be happy here. Being away from my friends and my town is not that bad. I can be myself here. Granny explained the story of the weeping willow to me, I can’t believe I forgot it. It seems that when I was younger that tree was mine, well not really mine, but every time I was here I would be sitting or playing by that tree. It was my escape, granny said. It’s strange now, cause I am so many years older and it seems I am still escaping. But everything is different and yet everything is the same. I’m still the little Justin that I was when I came here. The difference is, that on some level I am grown up. I have my baby now. It’s such a beautiful boy. He looks like Brian, he really does. He has the nose, the hair, the tan. The only thing he has of me are the blue eyes. And all this makes a beautiful child. He is 3 years now. Damn, I can’t believe I have been here for so long. I sometimes talk to Emmett and Michael on the phone, but that’s all. I never saw or heard Brian again. It still hurts after so many years. Brian wouldn’t change for anyone and if I told him I was pregnant, things would have been nasty. Come to think of it things are nasty now between the two if us. No contact at all and he still doesn’t know I had a baby that is his. How fucked up is that? 

I have a job and a mini home of my own, well not really. Granny and me changed the barn into sort of a loft. On the outside it looks like shit, but on the inside it’s everything I always wanted for me and for Gus. My baby means the world to me and I want him to have a good and protected life. I’m not in a relationship, but it’s not that I can’t, it’s because I don’t want to. Like I said I want to protect Gus and I can’t do that when strange men come in and out of my life.

Michael called yesterday, he had so much to tell. It seems that he is getting married to Ben. He invited me over for the wedding next week. I’m still contemplating if I should go or not. I told him I needed to think it over and I did. It means me and Gus will go back to Pittsburgh, I will see everyone back including Brian and I don’t know if I am ready to unleash everything about us. It also means Gus will be in the picture and I don’t know if I can do that to him. But I also know I have been hiding enough. I am 20 years old now and my parents have no more say about me. They stopped controlling me when I turned 19. I know I have to face the other family. I know I owe it to them.

\-------------------- 

**Brian’s POV**

Oh shit!!! Michael is getting married. How stupid can he be? The life of a husband is not for me. And it never will be. I always was a son of a bitch & I know it. I couldn’t love anyone. But then I fell in love with Justin and he walked away, I was ready to tell him I loved him and that I wanted to be with him. I never got that chance. I chased him away I think. Or maybe… No, it doesn’t matter anyway. He is gone and I never heard of him again. But there isn’t a day that I don’t think about him. He was my best friend and then we both fucked up really good. So I’m here and I am queer. I’m very successful and I do what I want to do. I don’t need anyone to tell me I am gorgeous. I already know I am. But there is no denying the fact that I feel a part missing somewhere inside me. And when Justin was still here with me, I didn’t have that.

\-------------------- 

”Gus, come out of the car and stay with me, ok.” I tell Gus after driving for many hours. The boy can’t sit still and I know being out of the car will make him wild and loud.

”Ok Daddy…Daddy what are we doing here? Where are we?”

” I already told you, baby. This is where I used to live and a friend of Daddy is getting married. And we, you and me Gus, are here to party. Get it?” I tell my boy again.

” Oh yeah party!!!” He yells. 

I laugh and take him inside of my parents house. I will look after the bags later on. I see my mother standing in the kitchen. She greets us and picks up Gus and hugs him close. You know for thinking he is a basterd child, she sure does love him a lot. 

”How are you doing Justin, is everything alright?” She asks 

” Yeah mom, everything is great, right Gus?”

” Great!!!” he yells in my mom’s ear.

I laugh again. I must be truthful, that boy is a handful. But I wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world. I take Gus in my arms and head upstairs. I walk into my old room and I can’t help but seeing the scene that caused Gus to be here in the first place. I let Gus jump on the bed. In the meantime I go into the bathroom and clean myself up a bit. When I return Gus is going trough all my stuff. He gets up with a picture in his hand. As he is coming closer I see it’s one of Brian and I feel like I choking. 

”Daddy, who is this?” He asks me in such an innocent voice.

”That… That’s a friend of me.” I tell him softly. 

”He is pretty, daddy, he has the same hair as me. Am I pretty too daddy?” I laugh when he touched his hair and goes in thinking mode. He is so cute when he does that. He reminds me off…

” DADDY!!! Am I pretty or not?” 

”Huh, oh yes Gussie, you are, you are the prettiest boy I know.” I tell him. He giggles and it makes my heart melt.

” Is he the one who is getting married?” 

” No, he is not. And why don’t you put that picture back where you found it? And get your sweater back on, we are going to a diner.” I get up and get his sweater.

” Oh are we going to eat, daddy, cause I am hungryyyyyy.” He whines.

” Yes we are. Now come on, let’s go.”

\-------------------- 

I knew this day would come one day, I only wish it wasn’t today. I’m standing in front off the diner and I know everyone will be there. I phoned Emmett before I left and it seems that Michael, Debbie, Emmett, Ben and Brian are there. Gus is standing next to me and holding my hand. He looks up to me and I see him smiling and all I see is Brian’s smile.

I open the door to the diner and thank god it’s very calm in here. I feel Gus crawling behind me. I hear a scream and I know it’s Debbie. 

” Justin honey, where the hell have you been? How are you doing?” She yells when she is coming towards me. Her arms are wide open and it look like she is attacking me. Gus comes out behind my legs. 

” Noooo, get away. You leave my daddy alone.” He yells, while he’s blocking her way. Debbie stops and looks to Gus and I can see that her eyes are ready to pop out of her head. 

” Daddy?” She questions.

I don’t answer her. I look around the diner and I see the group sitting in a booth. They are all looking at me and Gus. And yeah everyone is here, including Brian. I see Emmett standing up and coming towards us. Emmett kneels down in front of Gus on eyelevel. 

” Hey Gussie sweetie, how is my pretty boy.” Emmett asks Gus.

” Auntie Em, are you here too? I’m great, that’s what daddy said. I don’t like it here, that woman tried to hurt daddy.” He tells Emmett very seriously.

”Is that so? You know Gus, I think that woman wanted to give your dad a hug.”

I go to the booth were Michael is and I give him a hug. I congratulate him. Emmett and Gus come over too. All the while Debbie is standing there with a shocked look on her face. I didn’t look at Brian. I know he is here and I can’t seem to look him in the eye. I pick up Gus in my arms and talk to Emmett. Seconds later Debbie comes over and asks again what shocked her so much.

” Justin, is that your kid?”

I look at her and give a small smile. “ Yes he is, Deb. Gus is mine.”

” But how? I mean, well… You know he looks an awful lot like Br…”

” Mom, don’t!” Michael warns her. Although her eyes are directed to Brian. This is an awkward situation. 

” Deb, can I have a milkshake and a hamburger? And Gus, what do you want?”

”I want a hamburger too, daddy.” He tells me.

”Coming right up.” Deb tells us.

I take place at the booth with Gus on my lap and I see Brian looking at him. Brian does not look at me, but at Gus and in some way it frightens me. I see some light in his eyes and I don’t know if it’s anger or something else. 

” So Justin, how have you been?” Brian asks me. See, I told you this was an awkward situation.


	10. Chapter 10

  
Author's notes: SO SORRY for the slow updates.   


* * *

” So Justin how have you been?” Brian asks me. See, I told you this was an awkward situation.

”Me? I have been good. Yeah. What about you?” I am clearly nervous about talking to him. I mean how can I explain all of this. I moved on, he moved on and now we are face to face again talking about the weather… well not really but you know what I mean right.

Brian is still looking at Gus, not really hearing what I am saying. I take Gus from my lap and sit him next to me.

”Uhm, I have been doing good to. Finished college now I am working for a big company in advertising.”

”oh I see, that’s good.” I look around the dinner cause I am hating the silence that fell after this.

”Daddy, daddy I want my burger now.”

Debbie comes up with our order and I don’t know if I am grateful for this. I hope she doesn’t ask more questions about Gus. She places our food in front of us and just stands there waiting with her hands on her hips.

”What?” I ask her. She just throws her hands in the air and takes of again. I make a small groan and begin to cut the hamburger in two for Gus.

”Mister, aren’t you going to eat?” Gus is asking Brian.

”No little man I already ate.” Brian tells him smiling. In some way this is making my heart break. Gus is eating now and all Brian does is watching him.

I watch the interaction between the two and it’s so cute. I can’t believe Gus had to miss this. If I could have the chance back then I would have stayed but I couldn’t. Now we are both grown up and I think it’s time for me to make my own decisions.

”Brian…” I start saying but he cuts me of with a question.

”Justin is the kid mine?” He asks in a normal and calm tone still not looking at me but at Gus.

”I…I can’t… Brian can’t we talk about this some other time when Gus is not around.” Gus looks up at hearing his name clueless to what is going on and offers a bite of his hamburger to Brian. He makes a soft laugh which I never heard before and tells Gus to eat it himself.

” Justin, it’s not that hard just a yes or no will do.” He says.

”Brian please don’t… not now.” I let my hands fall on the table and look at them not daring to look at Brian cause if I do I might cry.

” Fine then, but this needs to be talked about and when I say this then I mean 3 years.” I nod still not looking at him. In the meantime Gus has climbed up the table.

”Gus get of the table now.” I tell him. He doesn’t listen and he is sitting in front of Brian reaching his left hand out he pets Brian’s hair in a childish manner which is understandable cause he is child.

” I saw a picture of you today mister, I have the same hair as you.”

I put my head in my hands and shake my head. This is to much. “Gus that’s enough leave the mister alone.” I take him by the waist and sit him next to me again.

Brian laughs at Gus pout and tells me “ That kid is smart.” I finally look in his eyes. “ I know. To smart for his own good.”

Brian places his hand upon mine and I know I look a little scared now. I think I forgot to blink my eyes.

”Justin, I would to talk tonight. Can you come over to my place?” He asks.

”I don’t know Brian I can’t just leave Gus at home.”

”Then bring him with you. Please…” Never ever did I hear Brian use the word please. It scares me.

”Uhm ok then, what time?” He gives me a card where his address is written on and tell me to be there at 7.

”I’ll be there.” I tell him. He gets up and places a kiss on Gus’s cheek. ”Bye sonny boy”. He looks at me and smiles “Later sunshine.”

”Later” I tell him and he is leaving the dinner.

“Daddy?”

”Yeah baby?”

” Is he my other daddy? And why doesn’t he want my hamburger? Oh he has soft hair. Daddy I don’t want my hamburger anymore.” Shit this is going to be a long day.

__________________________________________________________________

”I’m so sorry Deb. I wanted to tell you really bad but I needed time and then before I got the chance my mother send me away…” Justin became silent. “ Because she was ashamed of me.”

”Oh sweetie, I’m sure you’re mother was not ashamed she was just worried about you. I mean it’s not everyday you’re only son becomes pregnant. “ Debbie says while pouring another cup of coffee.

”Yeah I know deb, It just hurts me to know… that … that I missed a big part of my life. Not going to college here with my friends not talking to them but only on the phone. Still Emmett and Michael where great when they visited me. I wanted them to know Gus and I wanted Gus to know who his daddy’s friends are.” Justin sighed.

Debbie didn’t know that Justin had to go trough this all this time. Being a single mother herself she knew how that life can play tricks on you. No time for nothing except for yourself and your child. You tend to forget other people.

”But that didn’t include Brian now did it?”

”Deb please… don’t do this.”

”But i’m going to. How the hell could you keep that little boy out of Brian’s life. Yes I know he was an asshole back then. But Justin believe me you didn’t see him after you left. He changed so much and I bet it has something to do with you. He is not Brian anymore like you use to know him.”

”You know I sensed that to when I was talking to him. It felt like talking to someone else. But not necessarily someone else that is bad. I think I would like to meet this new Brian but I’m scared I will get hurt again or worse that I let Brian fully into Gus life and that my son will be hurt. I can’t let that happen Deb. I just can’t.” Justin shook his head and was ready to stand up but Deb stopped him.

”Justin listen. Go to Brian’s tonight. Get to know him again. Get him to know you again. “

” I will try. But I can’t promise anything.” Justin kissed Debbie on he cheek before he flashed a big smile at her.

” That’s my boy.” Deb laughed.

”Yeah, boy” Justin laughed to. “ Oh, will you please let me know when Michael is having his bachelor party. Now that’s one party I don’t want to miss. Bye Deb.” And Justin left. Deb still stood there looking kinda confused. “Bachelor party. Holy fuck I forgot to plan the stripper.”

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